“You guys, I think they’re just waiting for us to go,” Maia whispered with a giggle. Cassie looked up and noticed that indeed, they were the only ones left in the coffee shop, and it seemed like the waiters were lounging by the bar, waiting for their group to leave.

“Wow, it’s late!” she said, looking at her watch. It was late, and the mall was about to close. She totally lost track of time — everyone did, except she was the only one who probably promised herself before leaving home that she’d be home before nine o’clock. It’s an hour past, and yet Cassie still didn’t feel like leaving. She was having too much fun.

“We all had too much fun, I think,” David, one of the older ones in the group, said echoing Cassie’s thoughts. He signaled for the bill. A relieved waiter came by in two seconds, obviously very ready for that moment. Bills and coins were passed and they paid before making their way out — still very slowly, to the exasperation of the waiting staff — of the coffee shop.

Cassie was one of the first few out, but she stepped aside and slowed down deliberately, trying not to think of why she was slowing down. Her stomach betrayed her as she felt a slight flutter when Jon — Jonah – fell into a step beside her. Their group started walking, still taking their time, picking up where their conversations left off before leaving the coffee shop.

“Where are you off to, Cassie?” Jonah asked, adjusting his backpack as they walked. Cassie felt someone bump her arm and heard an impatient sigh as a lady carrying some shopping bags squeezed in between them, and then in between her new friends who walked in front of them. She raised an eyebrow and then exchanged looks with Jonah who looked kind of bewildered. There was a second’s pause, then they laughed.

“Hurry much,” Cassie said, shaking her head, shifting the package she carried in her arms. They continued walking. “What was your question again?”

“Where are you heading now?” Jonah repeated. His eyes crinkled a bit and for a moment Cassie thought he’d give that smile again, but he didn’t.

“Home,” Cassie replied. “It’s late.” She paused, then laughed. “I’m so boring.” It wasn’t meant to be a self-deprecating comment, because it’s the truth: Cassie would rather stay home than party late.

Jonah laughed. “You’re not. It is late. This is even later than when I was with them the last time.”

“Really? And what did you do then, just talk?”

They reached a doorway, and their other companions walked in, opening their bags for the guard’s inspection. Cassie unzipped her bag to do the same, stopping to let Jonah walk in first, but he stopped too and motioned for her to move forward. She smiled and walked forward, noting that simple act of chivalry and filing it somewhere inside her mind.

“Yeah, talked. And talked. Almost like this, actually. It’s just more fun now because you guys joined us.” Cassie felt another flutter in her stomach when he said that, even if she knew Jonah meant not just her but also Maia and Irwin. She confirmed this when he added, “I mean, there were more people this time around, and that’s always fun, right?”

Cassie nodded. “Definitely.”

Before any of them could say anything, Martin joined them and the two started talking about something while she watched and listened. She looked around and saw the others lost in their own conversations, making their way through the slowly dimming lights of the mall, oblivious to the people hurrying around them to get home. It was like none of them wanted to leave each other — and Cassie knew for herself that it was true. And she smiled.

Her reverie broke when she felt a hand brush on her arm — she looked and felt herself start, seeing that Jonah was holding her elbow. “I say goodbye here,” he said with a smile. “David, where did you park?” He looked away from Cassie but his hand remained on her arm, making her extremely conscious.

“Downstairs.” David answered.

“Cool, that’s where I’m going, too,” Jonah said, before turning back to Cassie. “You?”

Cassie swallowed, trying to calm the butterflies dancing in her tummy. “I’m taking the train,” she said, thankful to hear that her voice still sounded normal. She can’t explain it, but she was so aware of his presence right then. Even in the dimness of the mall, Cassie felt like his smile was as bright as the sun. It was cheesy, but it was the only way Cassie could describe what she felt then, and she couldn’t explain why.

“I’ll go with you,” Martin piped up from beside Jonah.

“Good, take care of her, Martin, okay?” Jonah said with a grin. He squeezed Cassie’s arm before letting go. “It was very nice meeting you, Cassie. I’ll see you again soon.”

“Yeah, soon,” Cassie echoed. Jonah smiled at her again, before heading off to say goodbye to the others. As he walked away from Cassie, she felt like asking him a thousand questions: where doe he live? How will he go home? He parked — he owns a car? What car? Can she get his number? When will she seem him again?

And then before she knew it, Jonah, and the others who are going the same way as he is, were gone, and she was also heading off with the remaining people to the train, also on their way home. The actual goodbye took a few minutes, but Cassie felt that it ended too soon. Everything felt like it ended too soon.

She could still feel Jonah’s hand on her arm.

The trip they were on was a long-awaited one, and Cassie had to smile whenever she remembered the tedious planning that the group went through just to make sure it pushed through. She could still remember the disappointment she felt at the first time it was postponed for various reasons, and felt the spark of hope after when David brought it up again, this time, with a more concrete plan. Lorraine, ever the OC person, teamed up with him to make sure the trip would push through, no matter what. After another close cancellation call, Lorraine finally declared:

“As long as there are five people who are sure to come to this, we will push through!”

Cassie was relieved to hear that because there was already five people coming for sure, and that included her. So the trip was a go.

But what delighted Cassie more was the presence of her seatmate, who almost backed out, but cleared his schedule at the last minute.

“Are you asleep?” The deep yet cheerful voice interrupted her thoughts. Cassie blinked and turned to her seatmate.

“No,” Cassie said, putting her sunglasses up her hair. “I thought you were.” She added.

Jonah — she never got used to calling him Jon, like the rest of them — yawned. “I woke up. Looks like everyone else but us and the driver is asleep.” He grinned at her.

Cassie didn’t know what that grin meant, but all the same, her heart fluttered at the sight. She knew everyone else in the van planned their seating arrangement, and as always, she just laughed at it. That’s not saying she didn’t like it — she did. She’s been thinking of how to make it happen before they boarded the van, but she shouldn’t have worried. They have been teasing Cassie and Jonah together ever since she became a part of their group and they have been relentless with it. Cassie knew she liked Jonah, but she never knew if he felt the same. After all, he was friendly to everyone. The issue just made it harder for her to glean if there was anything outside of friendliness.

But sometimes, when he smiles at her, she wondered if maybe he felt the same.

Like now.

“Are you planning to do something to them while they slept?” Cassie asked in a low voice.

Jonah’s grin remained and he rubbed his hands mischievously. “No.”

Cassie raised an eyebrow. “Seriously.” Jonah was hardly mischievous except maybe when dealing with their other close friend in the group, Martin. All the other time, Jonah is just plain cheerful, which was one of the many things that Cassie liked about him.

Jonah nodded, his eyes twinkling. “I don’t like disturbing sleeping people,” he said in a conspiratorial tone. “But I’ve been wanting to do this since this morning.”

Cassie felt a sudden, sharp jab on her side, making her jump. A shriek escaped her lips but not before a hand clamped over her mouth — at least, it tried to, because the owner of the hand was shaking in so much laughter that he could hardly hold still. She pulled the hand away, turned to Jonah and glared.

“You!”

“The look…on your…face!” Jonah said in between laughs. “That was priceless!”

She slapped his shoulder. “Jonah!”

He grinned and put a finger to his lips. “Shh, you don’t want to disturb the sleeping people, don’t you?”

“So you do that to me instead?” Cassie whispered furiously. “You!” She slapped him on the arm, this time.

“Aw come on, Cassie,” Jonah said, his shoulders still shaking from leftover laughter. “Amuse me?” He batted his eyes at her, and even if she felt herself melt a little, she tried to strengthen her resolve. Cassie was too busy glaring at him to see that he had reached over and tickled her again. She couldn’t help herself — she laughed and tried to tickle him back, suppressing her shrieks and giggles so she won’t wake the others. Jonah was trying to do the same, turning red in the process, but it was the most animated she’d seen him, ever.

The tickle fight felt like it lasted for hours to Cassie, but it was only less than ten minutes. “Time out!” Jonah said, holding a hand out as he tried to catch his breath. Cassie felt breathless, too, and something else — something that she was trying to not feel ever since they rode the van and she sat beside him. She took a swig of water from her bottle and pulled her sunglasses down.

“You exhaust me, Jonah. I’m going to sleep.”

“Aww, Cassie!”

Cassie leaned her head on the window and smiled to herself, her heartbeat refusing to go back to normal even if she had already caught her breath. She needed time to think, to catch her heart before it leaped after this guy. Sleep seemed the only safe thing to do. “Later, Jonah.”

She slipped her earphones inside her ears and reached inside her bag to start her music. In the corner of her eye, she saw Jonah do the same thing, leaning his head on the opposite window, pulling his own sunglasses down, too. She smiled again, and shifted in her seat to get comfortable, putting her hand down on the space between her and Jonah.

Just as she was about to drift off, she felt a hand land on hers. She flinched, knowing immediately who owns that hand. She opened an eye and looked at Jonah, whose head still leaned on the window like he was already asleep, but his hand…his hand was definitely on top of hers. She forced herself to relax, thinking it was all just a mistake. Cassie expected him to pull his hand back, to hear a hasty apology from that accidental thing. Instead, she felt a little bit of hesitation. Then he relaxed, and to her utter surprise, she felt his fingers tighten around hers.

Cassie had no idea how she was going to sleep now.

She was, embarrassingly, in mid-chew when he arrived. His head popped up first through the open door before the rest of his body entered the room, a big smile plastered on his face making his eyes disappear with all the glee that it seemed to hold.

She swallowed, thankful that the food didn’t lodge in her throat as his eyes caught hers, and quickly looked away.

Of course, Cassie did not know him. But she was sure her new friends did.

“Jon!”

“There’s our guy!”

“You’re late!”

The others were in chorus as they welcomed this new guy while Cassie and the others who did not know this Jon were quiet. Cassie watched the guy with mild curiosity as he said hi to everyone before getting a chair two seats away from her. She tried not to stare, but then he turned that smile on her again. Cassie blinked in surprise, but before she could react, Lorraine, the designated host, spoke.

“Newbies, that’s Jon,” Lorraine said, pointing to the new guy. “Jon, this is Maia and Cassie, and that’s Irwin on your other side.” Cassie watched him offer his hand to Irwin, then at Maia on the other side of the table then finally back at her.

“Hi, I’m Jon,” he reached out his hand to her. Cassie accepted, grateful to be doing something else other than trying but failing not to look at him to see if he was still wearing that smile.

“Cassie,” she said, shaking his hand briefly. She dared to look up at him, and as she expected, there was that smile again. Cassie managed a small smile back before letting go of his hand. She immediately picked up her glass of iced tea and look a long sip, looking at Lorraine who stood beside her, trying to file her thoughts in the right parts of her mind so she won’t be flustered.

“Have all of you guys eaten?” Jon asked, looking around the table, chuckling at his obvious question when he saw that everyone already had a plate in front of them. “Sorry, Captain Obvious!”

“Yes, but you go and get your food first, then we’ll start,” Lorraine said, waving her hand towards the door. Jon put his bag down and headed out almost like he owned the place, absolutely comfortable with the people that Cassie was only starting to get to know. She wondered how long they had all known each other if he could give them that kind of smile all the time.

He’s cute, the thought popped into her mind out of the blue. She shook her head, shaking the thought away before turning back to her food. The conversation picked up around her again as she silently scolded herself. She’s not here to look for cute guys; she’s here to make friends. How many times had she gotten into trouble picking out cute guys in a crowd before getting to know them first? This is certainly not the time to do that again.

Cassie looked up to take another drink and just as she did, Jon came back, carrying his plate. He saw her look up at him and his eyes disappeared as his lips curl into another smile. This smile was aimed just at her, and Cassie felt heat rise up her cheeks.

She looked back at her plate knowing that her face must be in flames…but not before she managed to smile back.

Christmas Eve at the Cruz residence has always been chaotic, but it was a good kind of chaos. I woke up on that day with a sense of anticipation deep in my stomach and the smell of cookies baking in the oven, rousing me up from bed. Mommy must have woken up early to start baking, just as she has always done years and years back. As I stayed in bed for a few more minutes, I heard my sister’s laugh and my brother’s voice, which had noticeably gone deeper since the last time I was home. A Christmas song played over the cacophony, and true enough, it was the kind of song that only Daddy listens to that makes us kids cringe.

I sighed in contentment. There is really no place like home. I’ve missed being home ever since December rolled around and was I ever glad to be home from the seminary early this year.

“Kuya! Ate Rebekah is here!”

But home is not home without my best friend Rebekah.

I smiled at the announcement just as my sister’s head popped up from the doorway. Cathy saw me smiling and grinned, and I knew immediately what that meant.

“Uy, Kuya’s happier now that Ate Rebekah is here!” she said in a singsong voice.

I sat up from my bed and rolled my eyes. “Well good morning to you too, sis. Why shouldn’t I be happy that she’s home?”

Cathy stepped inside my room and leaned on the doorway. “Oh, I don’t know, Kuya. Maybe it’s because you’re in love with Ate?” she said with a laugh.

I threw a pillow in her direction which she dodged expertly, her reflexes the result of being in her school’s soccer team in the past year. “I swear, Cathy, that is the oldest news already. I am not in love with Rebekah.”

“Whatever you say,” Cathy replied in her singsong voice again. She turned to leave me as I got out of bed but stopped when I called her back.

“Is Rebekah downstairs?” I asked.

Cathy’s eyes gleamed as she shook her head. “No. She just called a little while ago to tell us she’s arrived. She wanted to talk to you but she figured you were still asleep. She knows you very well, you’re perfect for each other.” She finished with a laugh, before running back downstairs, no longer waiting for my retort. I just shook my head and smiled, and started moving to fix my bed before joining the family festivities downstairs.

* * *

I was itching to see Rebekah as soon as lunch rolled around, but Mommy kept me busy with helping out for the preparations for the Noche Buena. True to tradition, we will be having Noche Buena with the Riveras at our shared yard, just like we had for as long as I can remember. I really wanted to go to Rebekah’s house as soon as I was free, but it seemed like Mommy was cooking for an army instead of the usual ten.

There was something else I wanted to talk to Rebekah about too, one that has been bugging me since I talked to her last night. I kept on replaying our conversation, and there was one thing I said that I could not get out of my head:

Bye Bekbest, love you.

It just slipped out. I didn’t even know I said it until I hung up, and then it didn’t hit me until a few minutes later. When it finally did, I fretted over sending Rebekah a message, and I fretted over Rebekah sending me a message but neither happened. Usually, Rebekah would send a message to me first for slips like that, but she was unusually silent after. Fine, she was in the middle of writing a paper…but it’s so out of character for her to point out a slip like that. She used to do that a lot when I was pretending she was my girlfriend before high school ended to stop all those girls and gays flirting with me. But now…nothing.

I wonder if she’s mad. But if she was…why?

And why is it such a big deal to me? I’m in the seminary, I’m going to become a priest. And I really do love Rebekah, but we have been best friends for so long that it was just natural. Sure, she was my first girlfriend ever, but that’s the past and we’re both over it now.

If it doesn’t matter to Rebekah then it shouldn’t matter to me, too.

I continued to mull over those things until Mommy finally told me to go to the Riveras because she can tell by the look on my face that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate until I get to see Rebekah. I gave my mom a grateful kiss and went up to change into a fresh shirt before crossing the yard to my best friend’s house.

I could hear people laughing inside the house when I knocked at their back door. I would just go in, as I normally do, but from the sounds of their laughter, it seemed like they had a visitor. Although Rebekah’s relatives know me and my family, I didn’t want to be impolite and just barge in.

The door opened and I was greeted by Rebekah’s older brother, Kuya Ivan. He was wearing a Santa Claus hat and he looked mighty jolly already, even if he doesn’t have the paunch to be Santa Claus.

“Hey Isaac!” he said, giving me a brotherly hug. He opened the door to let me in and I followed him inside. He made his way through the kitchen to the living room and I heard a burst of laughter from there — I could still easily pick out Rebekah’s voice over everyone else’s inside. Just as the laughter died down, Kuya Ivan turned on his heel to face me, so abruptly that I almost crashed into him. “How’s it going over at your house? Do you need any help?”

I took a step back to give Kuya Ivan his personal space and shook my head. “Mommy has it all under control. I’m here to see Rebekah.”

I saw Kuya Ivan hesitate, and for a moment, I felt my stomach clench. Was there something wrong? Is Rebekah not there? Did she get into an accident from the commute? I knew I should have insisted to pick her up!

But her brother relaxed, and he patted my shoulder. “She’s here. I’m sure she can’t wait to see you.” He smiled at me, and I smiled back, even if I noticed that his smile looked a little different, like he was pitying me or something. I didn’t have a chance to ask him about it because he turned and led me to the living room.

“Look who’s here!” Kuya Ivan declared as soon as he entered. The chattering died, and suddenly, there was a loud shriek. Loud footsteps followed and before I could even make sense of who were inside the room, I was engulfed in the hugest and tightest hug in history. My nose was filled with the scent of daisies, and I inhaled involuntarily.

“Isaac! You’re here! I missed you so much!”

The arms finally released me from its almost deadly grip and my vision was filled with the face of my best friend, Rebekah Rivera. She held me at arm’s length, her hands still gripping my shoulders, and on her face was the biggest smile I have ever seen. It was almost like it was Christmas morning already, and Rebekah had opened her presents and found out she got everything she wanted.

“Hi, Bekbest,” I said, meeting her smile. She hugged me again, and this time, I had the chance to hug her back. She smelled of daisies, her favorite flowers. I remembered the first time I ever gave Rebekah flowers: it was Valentine’s Day during freshman year in high school. Dad and I picked her up from her school, and I practically shoved the bouquet to her face. It was the first time I gave her flowers, and it was the first time I noticed her differently. I knew she kept some of the dried daisies in a scrapbook in her room, together with all other gifts I gave her when we were still together.

As I hugged her, memories of our friendship and our short-lived relationship flashed through my mind: from our childhood to when we got separated in high school when I transferred schools, to when we became a couple and broke up, to our missed proms and graduation balls, to our graduations and the party where I told her I would be entering the seminary, to her eighteenth birthday. All our emails and phone conversations, all the times I visited her on campus and the few times she visited the seminary before school work ate her time up. All these flashed in my mind and when it was done walking through memory lane, I knew one thing.

I am in love with Rebekah Rivera.

I am in love with my best friend. Again.

Rebekah finally let me go and I found myself letting go reluctantly too. She smiled at me again, took my arm and led me further into the living room. I said hi to her parents and to Kuya Ivan’s girlfriend. Inside I was buzzing with the realization and my heart was pounding, almost like it wanted to escape, or at least, let me tell Rebekah what I felt then and there.

“Now Isaac, for my surprise,” Rebekah’s voice broke into my thoughts and I looked at her. My face broke into a smile again — I just couldn’t help it. Rebekah smiled back and dropped my arm. I watched her walk to the couch, where there sat a guy I do not know. I watched as Rebekah reached for his hand, and the guy stood up, lacing his fingers with Rebekah’s. She pulled the guy towards me, and I stood there, my heart still pounding but not from the same exhilaration I felt earlier.

“David, this is my best friend, Isaac,” Rebekah said. I was only vaguely aware of her free hand motioning towards me — I was too focused on her other hand that held the other guy’s hand, and how she looked when she said his name. I had a very, very bad feeling about this, and Rebekah’s next words confirmed it.

“Isaac, this is David, my boyfriend.”

[1754 words]

Author’s note: After almost a year, a new entry! Forgive the rambly prose, I’m still getting used to writing here again. Plus I just came from NaNoWriMo, so my inner editor is still unconscious. This is the long-delayed continuation of Home for Christmas Part 1. Stay tuned for more Christmas stories coming to Wordplay in the next few days.

Come to think of it, it had been a strange nine months, Joseph realized. He hadn’t counted on his life turning upside down in less than a year. He was just a lowly carpenter. Sometimes he even felt highly insignificant – belonging to a huge clan can do that sometimes. He never asked for anything like this.

The wind picked up, and Joseph wrapped his cloak tighter around him. He wondered briefly if there would be another show of angels from the heavens. His lips quirked as he remembered how the shepherds suddenly showed up shortly after the baby was swaddled. Joseph watched as they all fell on their knees and told them what the angel and the Hosts of Heaven told them. His wife just accepted them in her gracious way as if she understood everything — and maybe she did.

And Joseph? He understood what he can, but the rest is a mystery.

He tried to recall all that happened in the past months to him. His betrothal to Mary, the quiet girl from Nazareth, daughter of Joachim and Anne. Learning that Mary was pregnant before they were married. That news tore him up inside — he loved her in all her gentle ways, and he knew there was something special about her. All of those were gone when Joseph learned of her pregnancy, but he loved her too much to give her more embarrassment so he decided to just divorce her silently. Maybe then she can hide or do something so the people would not codemn her.

That was when things changed. He may not have seen the angels that the shepherds mentioned earlier, but he was visited by one in his dreams. He could still remember their words clearly until now, as if it was etched in his mind: Joseph, son of David, don’t hesitate to get married. Mary’s pregnancy is Spirit-conceived. God’s Holy Spirit has made her pregnant. She will bring a son to birth, and when she does, you, Joseph, will name him Jesus—’God saves’—because he will save his people from their sins.

Save people from their sins. How could a man do that? How could a baby do that?

Joseph looked up at the night sky and watched the stars twinkle merrily down at him. It almost felt like the heavens were smiling down at him, at them. And maybe they were. He would not be surprised at all.

The silence of the night was broken by a soft whimper. Joseph walked back inside the stable, checking if any of the animals that shared the place with them had made the noise, but they were all asleep. He walked towards the back of the stable, and found Mary and the child sleeping soundly, bathed in the dimmed lamplight.

Or, it was only Mary that slept soundly. The baby, who laid in a manger, was stirring, and from the sounds of his little whimpers, Joseph could sense that the baby was about to cry.

Joseph knelt down beside the manger and glanced at Mary, wondering if he should wake her up to take care of the baby. But one look at his wife’s face stopped him from doing so — she had had a long day, from their travel, to the birth and the visitors. She needed to rest.

He slid his hands under the baby and carried him gently in his arms. Joseph felt awkward in carrying him, like he wasn’t sure if he was doing it right. Mary had it down pat — then again she carried him for nine months, and she knew more about him than Joseph did. It made sense.

But still, even if the baby wasn’t really his child in the biological sense, he couldn’t just leave him alone and crying.

The baby stirred again, and Joseph made shushing noises to still him, like how he remembered his mother doing it to his brothers when he was younger. He shifted his arms slightly to make sure the baby was comfortable and stood up, and then he began pacing back and forth the little space.

The child stopped squirming and Joseph thought he would go back to sleep. To his surprise, however, the baby opened his eyes and looked at him.

Joseph stopped pacing and looked back into the eyes of the child he held in his arms. It was the first time he had a chance to see the baby’s eyes, and what he saw almost took his breath away. An old prophecy flashed in his mind: Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, a virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Immanuel.

“Immanuel.” Joseph whispered, still gazing at the child. The child blinked and then gurgled, as if he was laughing and agreeing with what Joseph said. “God with us.”

The baby gurgled again. Joseph felt another stirring in his heart — something he wasn’t quite sure what. It was like a mixture of awe, wonder and pain: awe at the little baby he held in his arms, wonder at how he got here and pain at the thought of what he must go through, if he was indeed the one sent to save the people from their sins.

As if sensing Joseph’s unease, the baby’s face crumpled and he let out a little cry. Tears pooled in the corner of his eyes and leaked down his cheeks. Joseph snapped back in attention and started rocking the baby, making shushing noises to calm him down.

And then the words were in Joseph’s head and he started singing softly to the baby, pulling him closer so he could hear his words without disturbing his wife.

Go to sleep, my son,
This manger for your bed.
You have a long road before You,
Rest your little head.

The baby’s cries died down and his breathing slowed. He looked up at Joseph again and this time, Joseph smiled down at him. He rocked him back and forth again gently and continued to sing.

Can You feel the weight of Your glory?
Do You understand the price?

Joseph stopped and felt hot tears prick the back of his eyes. Does the child know about what he will be going through? Can he and Mary protect him from it? How can they raise him up with not knowing what their child had to do to save the people? He sang the next line of the song, but the question was also sent up to the heavens, a question to the Father who brought them there.

Does the Father guard Your heart for now
So You can sleep tonight?

The baby closed his eyes, and his breathing became even. Joseph knew he was falling asleep.

Go to sleep, my Son.
Go and chase Your dreams.
The world can wait for one more moment,
Go and sleep in peace.

I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight.

Joseph couldn’t help it. A tear rolled down his cheek and dropped on the forehead of the child. He was afraid for a moment that the child would wake up, but instead, he stayed asleep, his head lying on Joseph’s arms. His face was calm, peaceful, trusting. Could Joseph do the same thing and trust the Father that He knew what He was doing when he sent this baby to them?

Lord I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child.

Joseph took a deep breath. He still couldn’t understand, and he knew he may never understand it, at least while he was still here. But he knew that Yahweh understands and knows, and for tonight that should be enough.

The baby stirred again and Joseph opened his mouth to finish the lullaby:

Go to sleep, my Son.
Baby close Your eyes.
Soon enough You’ll save the day
But for now, dear child of mine.
Oh my Jesus, sleep tight.

Joseph kissed his child’s forehead gently before putting him back in the manger, and sat there watching Jesus for the entire night until the darkness made way for the sunlight the next morning.

When they say the last year of college was the craziest time of the year, they really weren’t kidding. The last semester of my last year in college had just started, and the first month and a half of it almost drove me nuts with all the work I had to accomplish. I was up to my ears with all the papers and assignments and my thesis — not to mention my extracurricular activities. It was so bad that I had to miss a couple of days of Christmas vacation to stay in the dorm to finish the things that were due as soon as I get back to school. My roommates thought I was crazy; for me, I’m just thinking ahead. That, and I do not want to go home and think about school work.

Just thinking about home made my heart ache. The last time I was home was during the semester break, and I had to cut that short because of some thesis things that I had to do. My parents didn’t mind, since they know how important my thesis was, but I cried every night on the first week I had to stay at the dorm because I was terribly homesick. Sometimes, studying in the city really takes its toll on me.

I paused from my typing and glanced at the date on the bottom of my screen. It was the 23rd of December, two days before Christmas. For the first three years of my college life, I would have been at home even before the 20′s hit in December. At this time, I would be finishing my Christmas shopping — at least the ones I haven’t done yet while I was in the city — and would be locking myself in my room to wrap my gifts, and then sneak them under the Christmas tree so my brother wouldn’t try to peek. At night, the entire family would be dressing up to go to the last night of Simbang Gabi, and we’d follow that up with a baking session at home to prepare for Noche Buena the next day. I would be full with my mom’s hot chocolate, and Isaac would always, always bring us fresh, hot bibingka and puto bumbong from near the church when we’d run out of the ones we bought after the mass.

I smiled fondly when I remembered my best friend, Isaac. He usually goes home around this time from the seminary, since he’s gotten to staying there to help out with their Christmas preparations up to the last minute. It was weird trying to think of Isaac as some kind of priest in the future at first, but I’ve slowly gotten used to the idea. He was the only guy I know who was actually pursuing this calling, and people in college often scoffed at him when they hear about my best friend on his way to becoming a priest. At first I got angry at them for that, but now I just let them be — the choice didn’t involve them anyway. It didn’t even involve me, so I had no right to say anything about it.

But having Isaac in the seminary was hard, too. We hardly have time to see each other whenever we’re home. At the most, we only had a couple of days together and then either he has to go back to the seminary or I have to go back to the dorm. The most time we spent together was probably last summer, but it always felt too short.

My phone rang, breaking my reverie. I answered it without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”

“Bekbest!”

Only one person calls me with that name. “Isaac!” I squealed. “I was just thinking about you.”

Isaac chuckled, and it was a sound that I missed hearing so much that I teared up. I sniffled involuntarily, and Isaac asked, “Hey Rebekah…are you crying? What’s wrong?”

I sniffled again, and this time, a tear actually sneaked out of my eye. I wiped it away hastily, forgetting that he couldn’t see it. I’ve only shed tears in front of a few people, and Isaac was included in that list, but even then I never liked crying in front of him. It was amazing how much he can sense my tears, though. “No, no. I’m okay. I just…I just miss you so much!”

Isaac laughed again. “I miss you too, Bekbest. I just got home today and was expecting to see you, but Tita told me you were still there.”

“You’re home already?” I said with a whine. I leaned back on my chair and put my feet up on my table to stretch. “I missed your arrival again! I have so much finish before I go home!”

“Can’t you finish it after the holidays?”

I sighed. “I can’t. I’m almost done, though, so I can probably go home tonight. Or early tomorrow morning.”

“Come on, go home tonight!” Isaac said, almost begging. “I want to see you already. It’s been too long. I can drive all the way there to fetch you. You want?”

I knew Isaac would do just that, even if he had to sneak away from the house just to fetch me. I remember that one time back in sophomore year, when Isaac surprised me with my favorite snacks at my dorm. Everyone thought that Isaac was my boyfriend then, and the two of us just laughed at that. It wasn’t new for us — in fact, he was my first boyfriend ever. We were together for almost a year and then we broke up, and just stayed best friends. We were used to people teasing us together and we usually ignore it now — I mean, for goodness sake, the guy is going to be a priest.

Just then, a messenger window popped up on my computer. I put my feet back on the floor and scooted to my computer with a smile.

Rebekah! I’ll be there at six. Let’s have dinner? Then you can teach me how to drive all the way to your place for tomorrow.

“Rebekah?”

I typed a reply on my computer and hit enter before speaking. “Isaac?”

“So, do you want me to pick you up tonight?”

Another message. All right then. Finish that paper already, okay? You can do it! Love you!

“No, Isaac, it’s okay. I’ll be home tomorrow morning, promise. I’ll see you first thing in the morning,” I said, typing my reply while I was talking. “Promise. You rest and I will see you tomorrow. I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?” I could hear the smile in his voice. Isaac can still be such a kid sometimes, it’s so charming. “Alright then. I have a feeling it’s going to be a bit too early for me to join your parents in picking you up.”

I was just about to say that my parents were not the ones who will pick me up, but my boyfriend, who he is going to meet for the first time. But then I heard someone yelling in the background. I recognized the voices — it was Catherine and Lawrence, his siblings. “Oh, wait, I have to go. The kids are demanding me to do something. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes, you will,” I replied. “Say hi to them for me. I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too. Bye Bekbest, love you.”

Isaac ended the call before I could react. I sat there, staring at my phone, dumbfounded. Did Isaac just say that he loved me?

But when Chiara brought it up, my mind went on overdrive. Why did I have to catch an allergy when we got to the hotel? Why did I have to miss dinner? I could not stop thinking about it…them. Ruth. Matt. Matt and Ruth. I can almost imagine them laughing together over dessert, with Matt buying Ruth her favorite cake. Does he know her favorite cake already? Does he know how Ruth likes her coffee with her cake?

I don’t really know why I’m reacting this way, especially since I was the one who pushed the two together. If it wasn’t for me, Matt and Ruth wouldn’t be this close, almost date-like close. It’s stupid, really, but I couldn’t deny Ruth when she asked me to help her get close to Matt. How I wish I said no to her, though.

“Ian, you okay?” Chiara asked again. This time, she scooted closer and put a hand on my shoulder, the way she used to do when we were younger. She eyed the beer bottle in my hand warily, as if I would do something bad with it.

And maybe, I might end up doing so. I found myself gripping the bottle tighter when I saw two people approach the bar at the corner of my eye. Chiara suppressed a gasp and cast one more concerned look at me before addressing the two newcomers.

“Hey.”

“Chiara! Ian! What are you guys doing here?” I looked up, and there was Ruth, looking all fresh and awake and cheerful, slid into the seat beside me. Behind her was Matt, looking sharp and rested even if it was only four in the morning. He smiled at the two of us before calling the bartender to order some drinks.

“Hey guys,” Chiara said, giving my shoulder a comforting squeeze. I don’t know what she knows, but that gesture helped me. I loosened my grip on the beer bottle, and tried to relax a little. I shouldn’t be bothered. Shouldn’t, shouldn’t.

“Wait let me guess,” Ruth said, looking at Chiara then me and back at her again. “Chiara can’t sleep, and you…” she paused, and squinted, trying to remember where I was earlier. I watched as she looked up, like she always does when she couldn’t find the answer, as if the heavens would give her the answer. When it didn’t, she looked back at me again, curious. “Where have you been? You disappeared right before dinner.”

“Allergies,” I said, shrugging. I looked away from her gaze, feeling my face flush under it. “Knocked out by antihistamines.”

Ruth’s eyes clouded with concern. “Oh poor Ian. You should have called me, I have no-drowse antihistamines in my bag.” She reached for my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, and her touch made my heart flutter.

“Nah, it’s okay. I needed the sleep, anyway,” I said nonchalantly. I glanced at her briefly and asked, “Have you slept enough? What time did you guys go in?”

I saw Ruth glance at Chiara then at Matt and back at me. “I don’t know, around eleven? Mitchie didn’t make me sleep enough, though.” She added the last part softly.

“Still the same, huh?” Chiara’s tone was grim. I looked at her questioningly, but she nodded at Ruth, telling me that she didn’t have the right to say anything. So I looked at Ruth.

“Noah broke up with her a couple of days ago. Through text.” Ruth’s tone was even grimmer than Chiara’s, and I thought I saw a glint of anger in her eyes.

“Oh.” It was all I could say. Mitchie and I weren’t that close as Chiara and I were, but I know she was the one actively campaigning for Ruth’s love life. I know she was responsible for Ruth’s dating spree the past few months, and I don’t know if I should blame her for who Ruth is with right now. But then again, if there’s anyone to blame there, it would be me. Besides, I heard that Mitchie doesn’t like Matt for some reason, and that warms me up with her even more.

“Good thing I let Naomi stay at home,” Ruth added. “She doesn’t have to be stressed like the rest of us here.”

“How is she?” I asked.

Ruth chuckled. “I made her sleep at nine. I don’t know if she slept, but when I called at around eleven, she didn’t answer. So maybe she’s asleep.” She looked at me and smiled. “I told her to be here at eight. I hope it’s okay?”

I nodded. “Of course it is. The others will arrive at around seven, anyway.”

Ruth smiled at me again, and my heart jumped. She leaned towards me and put her head on my shoulder before saying thanks. I swear I stopped breathing when she did that.

But it was over too soon. Matt, who had left earlier to talk to someone — I didn’t notice, really — came back carrying two mugs with coffee. Ruth picked her head up and she smiled at him. I could see the difference of her smile for him and for me: her smile for me was more friendly, leaning towards the fond, thank you as a friend type of smile, while her smile for Matt was like the smiles of all the other girls I’ve dated one too many times. That smile had a little more special air to it, like they shared a secret, but also want other people to know about that secret.

And no matter how many times Ruth smiled the smile she has for me, I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied until she gives me the smile that she has for Matt.

Then again, what was I doing there at three in the morning, too?

“Hey Chiara,” I looked up from my seat at the bar and there stood my cousin and colleague, Ian, still in the clothes he was wearing earlier this afternoon when we all met up at the hotel. His eyes looked tired, but he still had a good-natured smile in his face.

“Hey cousin,” I replied, raising my drink up to him. “Why are you still up? Aren’t you supposed to be at the Coliseum at six later?”

“Can’t sleep anymore,” Ian said with a shrug, climbing up on the seat beside me. “I was knocked out from seven. My allergies had me sneezing soI had to take a break. I missed the band’s arrival because of that.”

“So that’s why you disappeared earlier,” I said, taking a sip of my drink. Ian looked closely at my drink and then clucked his tongue. I glanced at him and asked, “What?”

“Chiara, why are you drinking? At this time?”

“I can’t sleep. I can’t drink coffee because I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all,” I explained. “Don’t go all parent-y on me, okay?” I added warningly.

“Okay, okay,” Ian said with a chuckle, raising his hands in surrender. “I’m just asking because I’m thinking of joining you.” He signaled to the bartender and ordered his drink, while I just laughed.

“So, how’s it going with you?” I asked. Ian and I were second cousins on the mother’s side, and we grew up practically beside each other. We went to different schools and then hardly hang out except for family events, but we remained close. In a lot of ways, Ian is also my guy best friend, and I know he’s one person I can truly rely on.

“Tired. Stressed, but not too much,” Ian replied, taking a swig from his beer. “Thank God for the new hire though.”

“Oh yeah, you hired Ruth’s sister, right?” I said. “Naomi, right?”

“Yeah, Naomi. She’s very helpful, despite her being…you know.”

“Pregnant? Yeah, I heard. And saw. Ruth was telling me and Mitchie about it when she found out,” I shook my head again. “I feel kind of bad that she got pregnant early.”

“Who doesn’t?” Ian said gravely. “Plus the father is not taking any responsibility, how about that? I bet if Ruth wasn’t so nurturing and non-violent, she would have found him and clobbered him for doing that to her sister. I would do that if I were Ruth, actually. No one should mess around with girls like Naomi.” Ian’s tone was actually angry, and when was the last time I heard or saw my cousin angry?

“Whoa, boy,” I said, alarmed. “Calm down.” I reached for his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“Sorry, sorry,” Ian said, after taking a couple of deep breaths. “It’s just that Naomi is such a sweet girl, and she doesn’t deserve something like this.”

“Neither does Ruth,” I added. Ian nodded at that, and then took another sip from his beer. He still looked annoyed, but there was a tender look in his face, like when he’s recalling something he’s particularly fond of.

“Speaking of Ruth,” I continued, when he didn’t say another word. “What’s up with her and Matt?”

Ian flinched visibly when I said Matt’s name. “What do you mean?” he asked, draining his beer. He signaled for another one from the bartender, who nodded at him.

“I mean, they seem to be going out a lot together,” I replied. “Like they had dessert earlier after all of us had finished dinner. And Ruth looks so happy. Talk about big time crush. Do you think Matt likes her back too?”

Ian shrugged. “I don’t know.”

I rolled my eyes. “How could you not know? Weren’t you guys friends?”

“Not really. We were just teammates back in college, but we weren’t in the same circle of friends,” Ian replied. It was then I noticed his tone, which still sounded a bit grumpy and his expression was actually dark.

Wait. Ian couldn’t still be offended by Naomi’s pregnancy, right? He was annoyed earlier, but he’s not this annoyed. Or was he pissed at something related to Ruth?

“You okay?” I asked carefully.

“Yeah, I am.” Ian said. His second beer arrived and he took a long drink.

I watched him for a while, all brooding and very unlike the Ian I know. What was his problem? This couldn’t be stress anymore, right? Why is he so worked up over what we were talking about? Wait, what were we talking about…?

Wait, Matt. And Ruth.

Wait.

I looked at Ian again, and saw his expression hasn’t changed. He was still steadily drinking from his beer, like it would somehow make him forget. I knew what that expression looked like…and it looked like he was jealous.

Was he jealous about Matt and Ruth?

[883 words]

Author’s Note: This totally sucks. Today is not a good day for writing descriptions, totally.

So as soon as the meeting was over, I took my chance. I grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the meeting room and all the way to the nearest vacant huddle room, ignoring the looks of Chiara and Melody, who we passed by in the hallway. I had to hand it to Ian though; no protests came out of his mouth as I pulled him away from everyone.

Once we reached an empty huddle room, I closed the door and turned to face Ian and demanded, “Are you spying on me?”

The look on his face as he processed my question was a look of utter beffudlement that I almost backed out of my questioning. But then his face showed some signs of recognition, and to my annoyance, he actually smiled.

“What is this about, Ruth?” he asked patiently.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know, Mr. Balboa,” I said, crossing my arms and glaring at him.

“Seriously, Ruth, what is it?” he asked again. He pulled a chair from the table and motioned for me to sit, but I ignored it. He then shrugged, sighed and sat down on another chair.

“Ruth, if you’ll be pulling me into huddle rooms just like that to ask me questions, I need to know why. I’m not a mind reader.” He looked at me again and there was that look. The one that feels like he was trying to read me but not in an arrogant or condescending way. It was the look he gave me when he was trying to figure out what happened between me and Matt, the one that eventually made me tell him what happened a few hours later. I found myself softening as he gazed at me, and I sighed, dropping onto the chair he pulled out for me earlier.

“Well?” he pressed gently.

Somehow, everything that I was annoyed about earlier felt like it didn’t matter anymore. I looked at him, met his eyes and said, “I talked to Matt earlier.”

There was no hint of surprise in his features, just as I suspected. I wasn’t expecting that he’d nod, though, and confirm that he did see us earlier. “I didn’t know what to ask you when I saw you guys, so I just told Mitchie that I saw you with him.” He paused for a while, and just as I was about to speak, he spoke again, “I knew you’d talk to her about it eventually. I wasn’t spying on you.” Ian said the last part quietly, but with a small smile.

I found myself smiling back as I leaned back on my chair. The Monday is not yet over but I was already wishing for the weekend. I thought the emotionally draining days were over already, but it wasn’t. All this because of a stirrer. A stirrer!

I reached absently for the LAN cable that poked out of the little compartment on the table in front of us and fiddled with it while I tried to compose what I was going to say next. There was nothing else I could think of saying to Ian, though, except, “I’m sorry.”

Ian chuckled. “It’s okay. You sure have a very strong grip.” He rubbed the arm I grabbed earlier and mock-winced, and then looked at me expectantly.

“Har har,” I said, trying not to smile, but failing. Ian’s smile grew wider as I did, and he reached over to pat my hand comfortingly. Somehow, this action made my face heat up, and I pulled my hand away hastily.

If it was too hasty, I didn’t see Ian notice it, because he just leaned back in his chair and looked at me carefully and asked if I was okay.

I shrugged. “Just tired.”

We fell silent after that. Ian’s a good friend that way; he doesn’t always ask too many questions, and we never had awkward silences, at least until after that night when he rescued me from my date’s the jealous ex. He’s always been there for me ever since, and his concern for me and the people important to me is touching, and is something I don’t understand sometimes. I never asked any questions though, and even if it’s been only a few months since we’ve gotten closer, I can’t imagine going through a day now without seeing or talking to him. Even if he can drive me nuts sometimes.

“Do you want to go back out to the office now?” Ian’s voice interrupted my thoughts. I blinked and focused at him, and he still sat there, looking at me. I nodded, and we stood up, and made our way to the door.

Ian reached for the door knob and was about to turn it but stopped when I put a hand on his arm and motioned for him to stop. There was something else I had to know before we go back. He looked at me questioningly but waited patiently for me to speak.

“I have one question,” I said. “Why did you tell Mitchie? I mean, other than knowing I’d talk to her. You could have just asked me about it, or just not mention it at all. Why?”

It was a stupid-sounding question, I know, and it’s really something I shouldn’t bother to ask…but something in me wanted to know. And if I knew Ian right, I knew he’d answer this one. How truthfully, I have yet to know.

Ian shrugged. “I care for you. That’s why.” With that, he gave me one more smile and opened the door.

[1036 words]

“Hey Anna.”

Anna looked up and saw Rich coming down from the SJ Walk. She felt herself blush slightly when she saw him, remembering the first time they “met”. Anna spent early in the term trying not to stay in one place alone with him, but somehow, they almost, always do.

“Hi,” she replied and the two of them started heading to the hangout together.

“No more class?” Rich asked, adjusting his backpack on one shoulder. Anna glanced at him and noted that he still hardly looked like a Computer Science major with the way he dresses up — always in shorts and preppy polo shirts, something she usually sees in the few Liberal Arts guys. If not for the bags under his eyes and the Leithold book he lugs around, no one would think he’s from Planet Gox.

“Nope, none,” Anna replied. “I also just finished my homework a while earlier.”

“Wow,” Rich said, impressed. “You’re not one to put things off.”

“No, I’m not,” Anna said, feeling the corners of her mouth turn up into a smile. “I just like it when things get done.”

Rich smiled back. As they turned at the end of SJ Walk to the Central Plaza, Anna noticed that Rich seemed to be in deep thought. Despite her initial and sometimes ongoing embarrassment with him, she nudged Rich playfully and said, “Penny for your thoughts?”

He looked at her, equally shocked at what she just did, but then smiled. “Just thinking. It’s my first free afternoon, and I’m kind of weirded out. What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

Anna shrugged. “None yet, but I might clean out some papers at the dorm. My desk is messy already.”

Rich laughed. “Ever the OC,” he teased. “Any chance you’ll have time for snack before that?”

“I have some snacks at the dorm,” Anna said, feeling her cheeks redden again, but without the mortifying feeling of embarrassment. There was an unfamiliar feeling inside her that she wasn’t sure what, and she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to know.

“Oh, okay,” Rich said lightly. There was something in his tone again, something that Anna thought sounded like disappointment. But why would he be disappointed?

They reached the hangout, which was full for the moment, at least until the next bell rings. Anna was immediately welcomed by her dormmate Nikki, who started talking about her day. She smiled and listened, but watched Rich in the corner of her eye. He’d walked to the boys at the other side of the hangout and had taken hold of the guitar and turned his back on her to play the instrument. The warm feeling Anna had earlier that she refused to identify had lessened and now she felt something else…something like disappointment.

But why?

Anna thinks she doesn’t want to find out.